“Education is the most powerful weapon that you can use to change the world.”
Nelson Mandela
Maybe my addiction to achieve perfection brought my feet to the gates of Manila Science High School. The anxiety to produce the best and be the best pushed me to this station despite fears of being intimidated and scrutinized by a bunch of intellectually elite people. But I wanted to have the assurance that I will learn a lot and that I will enjoy my Off-Campus Practicum. Manila Science cradles the best of the bests. We also expected it to have strict people and rigid policies. Still, I went taking with me two of my friends. It was like going headstrong into the impossible. I felt like having to pass a very high standard with only but half a chance.
I found people very welcoming though. Maybe they found us to be good pupils also. They interacted with us as though we were professionals and their colleagues. They did not give us a hard time in coping with the MaScian environment. The students were the best. They made our lives meaningful. I never knew that I can make thirty-one people smile all at once. We were in a family. All the more pressured to work hard have I become. I'm going to show you the best of PUP, I thought. The English department head put me under the care of one of the most reputable critic teachers in the English department, Miss Leversia E. Rivera who I called Ma'am Bess for short. Her former apprentice got a very high grade in her final demo. I then found myself stepping on a bigger mound of expectation.
During my first day, I had several funny feelings. The highest amount of nervousness came upon me. I saw kids staring at me through their thick glasses. Some gave me questioning looks, some were smiling and some said “Ooooh!” Now I do not know what that meant. I fell speechless though I was able to carry myself with composure still. They were having elimination for the oratorical contest. Oh my, they were really good. I was filled with awe. They might expect much from me and I was really worried that I might fail them. That first day was really terrible. I kept on asking myself, “how much braver could you get?”
After a week of observation, I began teaching. The first time, I had to handle all four classes. Bless my soul! I wish one could get sick for a month. I was comforted when some students were smiling and saying “Yehey.” My fears vanished and I was not dreaming when I saw how glad they were. I felt that they all looked up to me as their teacher and it entails my dedication to teach them for the given period of time.
The experiment began.
My students were cooperative. Although judging from their feedback in class, I know that they were not pleased all the time, and that they did not feel enlightened at some moments. At times when they were participative, I know that these were the moments when I am well prepared to help me teach with with enough clarity and energy. Then there are times that they would feel sleepy and inattentive. Those were the times when I was having difficulty in delivering the lessons. From this experience, one could realize why even the greatest teachers strive hard not to be perfect but to be greater than they are. One would stagnate in the profession if you would not do so. I never felt stagnation in this practicum though. My CT was always there to patch up my flaws and shortcomings so that I may improve.
In MaSci, I was also introduced to strategies that I have never seen before. I was so up to applying it that I admit that I neglect content at times... Only at times though. In my demo, I was so preoccupied with preparing my teaching tools and failed to organize the classroom situation in my mind. I learned from this experience that no matter how prepared you are physically, if you won't be able to focus on the subject matter, all efforts would be put to waste. One must prioritize subject matter because it matters much. No matter how many strategies you have learned on Earth, no matter how innovative your techniques are, you could be no match to one who masters the subject matter. If a teacher is confident in what he/she teaches, the execution of any endeavor inside or out of the classroom will produce positive results.
The experiment was not easy. There were times that I felt very depressed after being in a very dry and unmotivated class. I was beginning to think that my students were beginning to hate me for my incompetence. Well there were also moments of blissfulness when I see evidence of learning and enlightenment in the faces of my students. This is the time when I feel the passion in what I'm doing. This could rationalize why good teachers have more passion in teaching. My students are good, best, excellent. They are intelligent not just brain-wise but emotionally intelligent as well. They bore with my boring classes and still had the patience to listen. I wanted to help them to reach the peak of their dreams. I want to get the best of them because maybe, in a certain point in time, they can change the world. They can lead a multitude and I believe that they have such a capacity. Is that passion?
Now, the dilemma of finally entering the teaching profession still swings unattended inside my head. Being a teacher is difficult however fun it is and I learned it the hard way. However, not being a good teacher is another thing. I do not want to fall on a level of mediocrity and ruin the future of the youth and the nation. Teaching is a talent half-endowed and half-nurtured. And until now, I cannot determine whether I really have it. Moreover, teaching is a vocation and one might want to find something else to do with life. I am wondering, could I teach and do another thing at the same time?
It takes so much to have the assurance that your students learn from you. Learning takes place best if people think and feel. Dedication, enlightenment and inspiration – those were the best things that a teacher can give to their students. One doesn't just feed intellectually stimulating things in your students' minds. That is why I put comments and give importance to my students' works. You are molding a personality and not a computer program. You are molding the society and not just a school building or the painted walls of the classroom.
I hope, if one day, I will enter the gates of Manila Science High School once again, or be entering the threshold of any school wherever in the world, I wish I would feel the same warmth and enthusiasm that I found in this school. I might not see the same students but I would be thankful for the inspiration that they gave me when I was just learning how to walk in this path and for giving me the assurance that I can, if not change completely, contribute for the betterment of this world.
