Monday, November 23, 2009
Another Eurydice poem by J. Neil Garcia
Understand that I am dead,
dear poet, and do not need your saving.
My underworld sleeps at the bottom of the sea--
a wet conclusion I had long foreseen:
tranquil, yes, but far from dark,
for here shift fish and coral bearing the sun
in their bodies, hammered into such shapes
as only the tides can conceive. Colors? I have those:
the dappled citrons, gentians and pinks
of your hothouse blooms, worn as skin
by prey and cool predator alike.
I am never alone, sweet musician,
for this I have discovered about the ocean:
boundless as dream, it catches
every memory we may care to hold fast,
and casts it as shimmering shadow in water:
clear midnight in your eyes, moles rioting
on your cheeks, your sleek boyish head
tilting as you smile, your slightly turned
lip, the flowing length of your torso
lapping against my thigh, limpid notes
from your harp swimming to me again and again--
fleet accompaniment to the humpbacks’ songs
of mellow war and courtship. Borne out of brine,
these forms I can embrace without fear,
for they and I surge as one wave,
a spangled rhythm, repeating itself without end.
I know you wait, still and teary-eyed
upon the warm and rippled surface.
But you must see: here I am free to love you
beyond the encumbrance of a body, sad
and fickle animal always needing to be fed.
A kind of outpouring, a happiness eddies
through me with every tidal pulse,
the birth of another moon upon the world’s
nether brim, the sheerest stirrings of life
inside the sea’s lambent cradles.
From where you sit, in the pith of your craft,
I may strike you as requiring release,
and indeed your vision plummets now to touch me
with salt-edged words, your hurt elegy.
But understand it is I who have released you
by escaping into meaning’s murmurous deep:
bereft of me, you have needed to strain to hear,
to pitch the net of your voice far, far
into the vast and echoing blue. Listen.
You can sing again, my precious one.
Already you have saved us both.
-J Neil Garcia
Sorry if it's copy paste. No time to write.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
From "Hide and Seek"
What the hell is going on?
Spin me round again
and rub my eyes
This can't be happening
Trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first
Ransom notes keep falling off your mouth
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
-Imogen Heap
Friday, November 6, 2009
Terry Eagleton - New in My Reading List
One esteemed Literary critic who was able to draw out the development of literary theory.
His works includes Literary Theory: An Introduction, followed by a sequel, After Theory.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Halloween (A Murder Account) by Karla Vizcarra
A dead body covered in white, policemen mumbling in radios, a camera crew and a crowd of people: Latinos, Mexicans, Jewish kids in their hats and curls down the street yesterday morning.
Nothing moved.
I feared the body would rise if I came
too near. Besides, the policemen waved us back.
A Chinese lady, speaking to us, and when we shook our heads she asked, in broken English: The-body is yung?
We did not know.
Nobody knew.
Covered in white, still, frozen.
The murderer had a Halloween mask on, a kid said.
Leaves everywhere. Dead. We are shivering.
He must be very cold.
There was a murder down Clara street yesterday morning. I was lazy, typing in front of the computer. Looking up people that didn’t matter. Poring over their lives. Deliciously, when Ernest called.
“There’s a dead body right in front of me,” he had said.
And I dressed up in my sweater, pants and slippers, stepped out into the cold November and walked towards where a crowd had begun to gather.
A dead body in a white bag.
The police had made sure there were cars in front of the crime scene, so no one could take a good look unless they sauntered right over and craned their necks, vulgarly, blatantly. I saw the white bag. I had craned my neck just a little.
I wanted to go home.
Ernest kissed me and got the groceries. We were cooking Hainanese chicken for dinner. We saw a Youtube video, while looking up the recipe for bread pudding.
We didn’t go out last night. My swine mask and blonde wig hung there, waiting, expectant. I had wanted to dress up in sequins and fishnets and heels and a blonde drag wig and then the mask. I wanted to be a freak in a dress. A sexy pig. A fat chick. A Fascist pig. Swine flu. Pork. Oink oink.
We ended up watching Dario Argento’s Suspiria. Goblin music. Wet rain.
The dead body had curled up in my head.
We were biking down Prospect Park, leaves rustling under our wheels. It was dark, for 7 o clock. Daylight Savings Time.
We had come from a reading in a basement.
I thought I had left my hat down there. The lights had been turned off.
I had to go down the stairs and look for the lights, located not where lights normally are.
I had to go to the very back row. The last row of chairs.
Empty chairs.
I found the switch, but not my hat.
Nowhere on the shelves at the bookshop upstairs.
We went down the basement a second time.
It was even darker. Emptier.
Goblin music.
Outside, I found my hat slumped beside my bike. On the dark pavement, it looked like a dead rat.
A dead thing on my head.
We cooked Hainanese chicken that night; it was delicious.
(Very indifferent.)
MRT Blues, MRT Stampede
The MRT was temporarily shut down when I got there by 7:50a.m. The queue to enter the boarding area reached 2 flights of stairs. I queued. (Walang sinabi ang stored value card sa bulsa ko.)
By 8:00 am, I was able to get inside the boarding area. When I got there, four trains passed, and I can't get in because they're all loaded up. Four trains with 3-5 minute intervals passed before an empty train came to save our day.
The door wouldn't open. People were panicking. When it finally opened, STAMPEDE!!!! Everyone rushed in!!!!
Heto:
"Easy lang kayo! Magkakasya tayo lahat jan!"
"Yahoooo!!!!!!!"
"Anu ba yan, antay naman."
Well, morning MRT adventures has become constant and enduring companions in my life.
That is followed by a very long walk from EDSA to Makati Avenue, to avoid traffic and longer jeepney queues.
Crowded. Full. Surrounded by so many people.
I do not know them. But we communicate.
We cramp up in one common space.
Sharing this life's hell and hope.
I am a hollow piece of shell in the middle of it all.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
For Some stupid reasons, naaliw ako sa post na ito. Got it from ARAH. Magkaiba kami ng sagot. Haha.
1. Nalaman mo na may crush na crush na artista ang syota mo. Ano ang mararamdaman mo?
a. Ok lang yun. Lahat naman nagkakaroon ng crush na artista.
b. Naiintindihan ko naman, pero parang di ako kumportable. Bakiiit? Artistahin din naman ako ah! Charing lang, kahit medyo totoo!
c. Hindi maaari. Nawawala ang atensyon nyang dapit ay akin lang. AAA-KIIIN! (ala Maricel Soriano!) At bawal na syang manood na kahit na anong palabas ng chipipay na artistang yun!
d. Hahuntingin ko kung sino mang artistang yun at sisiguruhin kong di na sya ulit lalabas sa TV o pelikula.
2. Ilang beses mo kung bisitahin ang friendster page ng lovey-dovey mo?
a. Sabi nya wala daw syang friendster account eh.
b. Bihira lang. Pag nakita ko lang sa "recent updates" na nag-add sya ng new pictures o nag-post ng bagong blog entry.
c. Everyday. At saulado ko ang friends list nya, alam ko kung sino ang nadagdag for the day, kung meron man. At kung duda ko dun sa newly-added friend, iimbestigahan ko agad.
d. Hindi ko kailangang bantayan ang friendster nya, dahil alam ko ang password nya dun. May access ako sa lahat ng mga aktibidades nya dun, kaya di sya pwedeng maglumandi sa friendster.
3. Narinig mong may kabulungan at kahagikgikan sa telepono yung sweetie mo, pero pag pasok mo ng kwarto, bigla syang nagba-bye sa kausap nya at binaba agad ang phone. Alam mong sya ang tumawag dun sa other person dahil hindi mo narinig mag-ring yung phone. Ano ang gagawin mo?
a. Wala. I'm sure gusto nya lang i-focus ang attention nya sa akin kaya tinapos nya agad yung phone conversation. How sweet noh?
b. I'll ask nicely, "Sweetheart sino yung kausap mo?" Tapos I'll closely watch and listen while he answers, para ma-sense kung kung may tinatago sya.
c. "A-ha! Huling-huli kita, may kalaguyo ka sa telepono! Bakit mo nagawa yan, may mga pagkukulang na ba ko sayo? Masakit, sweetie, masakiiiit!" hahahaha!!!! :p
d. I'll press the phone's redial button at aawayin ko kung sino man ang sumagot. Tapos ipapakain ko kay sweetie yung telepono. Ako pa sinubukan nyang lokohin!?
4. Ano ang nararamdaman mo sa tuwing may tumitingin sa honey mo?
a. Proud kasi ibig sabihin attractive ang honey ko.
b. Sanay na ko... attractive naman kasi syang talaga. Kaya nga bagay kami eh.
c. Kelangan di kami magpunta sa mga lugar na maraming makakakita sa kanya. Hindi lang sa gubat matatagpuan ang mga ahas! TRULY!!! harharhar!!!
d. Walang ibang pupwedeng tumingin sa kanya. Pag may tumingin ng matagal at nag-smile pa, dudukutin ko ang mata ng makating nilalang na yun!
5. Na-meet mo ang ex nya for the time, and he/she turns out to be gorgeous. Worse, your bf/gf looked quite happy to see his/her ex again. Ano magiging reaction mo?
a. Happy, kasi ibig sabihin na-maintain ng bf/gf ko ang friendly relations with his/her ex. Walang bitterness between them. That's a good sign, diba?
b. Feeling panalo! Kasi ibig sabihin mas gorgeous ako kasi ako nga yung pinalit sa ex, diba? Makikipag-plastikan ako dun sa ex habang mentally binibilang ko ang mga kapintasan nya.
c. I'll throw the ex an evil look, tapos lilingkis ako kay bg/gf and give him/her a big wet kiss in front of the ex, to send a clear message na akin lang sya!
d. I'll sarcastically say to my bf/gf, "Uy mukhang you look too happy seeing your ex again, huh? Gusto mong umalis muna ko para magka-private moment kayong dalawa, or would you prefer na lokohin ako ng harap-harapan? Halika't umuwi na tayo kung ayaw mong magka-world war 3!" hahahaha!!!! crap!!!
6. Nag ring ang telepono sa bahay nyong mag asawa, hinahanap ang mister mo, at nickname pa ni mister ang ginamit! Maganda ang boses ng babae sa kabilang linya. Ano ang gagawin mo? (Kung lalaki ka, baliktarin mo na lang yung sitwasyon.)
a. Ipapasa ko ang telepono ng walang tanong-tanong. She's probably just a friend.
b. I will ask in a cool and nonchalant voice, "Uhmmm... sino to? Tungkol saan itong tawag na 'to?"
c. "Sino to? Asawa nya kong maganda, bata at sariwa. 24 ang sukat ng bewang ko at 36 ang cup size ko. Anong kelangan mo sa mister kong akin lang at wala ng maaari pang magmay-aring iba?" hahahahaha!!!!! huuuwaaaaattttt!!!!!???? :p ;p ;p
d. Sisigaw ng, "Hooooon! Telepono para sayo. Babae. Sino yan? Pag nalaman ko na kalandian mo yan, humanda kayong pareho!" Sindakan lang yan eh.
7. Umalis ang syota mo for 2 weeks papunta sa ibang lugar dahil kelangan sa trabaho. Tuwing kailan mo sya checheckin?
a. Once a day. Tatanong ko lang kung kumusta na araw nya. I fully trust him/her naman.
b. After every meal. Baka kasi di sya nakakakain ng maayos sa sobrang pagka-miss sa akin. Kawawa naman.
c. No need na i-check ko sya, dahil sasama ako sa business trip nya!
d. Kada oras. Kailangang magreport siya sa akin kung ano ang ginagawa niya. At pababaunan ko sya ng video phone para may visual inspection din ako tuwing tatawagan ko sya. *most likely! hehehehe!!!
8. You're supposed to go to a party with this person na ultimate crush mo. Pero nag-backout sya a day before the event. So pumunta ka na lang sa party by yourself. Ng bigla mong nakita dun si ultimate crush, may kasamang iba! Ano ang gagawin mo?
a. Kalimutan na ang party. Maggagantsilyo na lang ako magdamag habang nakaupo sa tumba-tumba. *hahahaha!!! old maid!!
b. Maghahanap ako ng ibang kaharutan dun sa party! I'll show him/her that I can have a great time with other people.
c. Jo-join ako sa kanilang dalawa! Sisiguruhin ko na hindi sila magkakaron ng moment alone together. I'll do my best, and my worst, para mapasaakin si ultimate crush.
d. Titisurin ko sa hagdan yung ka-date nya. Tapos hahanapin ko sa parking area ang kotse nya at bubutasin ang gulong. Lintik lang ang walang ganti!
9. Tinawagan mo ang syota mo sa office phone nya kasi gabi na wala pa sya sa bahay. Kaya lang walang sumasagot. So tinawagan mo sya sa cell. Pagsagot nya, sabi nya nasa office pa daw sya, overtime, at nasira daw ang office phone nila kaya walang sumasagot. Ano ang gagawin mo?
a. "Kawawa ka naman, Honey, baka sobrang mapagod ka. Ingat pag-uwi late ha?"
b. "Naku, ginabi ka na ng kakatrabaho. Trabaho nga ba?"
c. "Sinong niloloko mo?! Siguro may kasama kang iba noh?! Submit a report to me by tomorrow morning explaining in detail all your activities, minimum 5 pages, single space!"
d. Pabubuksan ko sa kanya ang gripo nila sa banyo. Kabisado ko na yata ang tunog ng patak ng tubig sa office restroom nila. Pag nag-iba ng tunog, wala sya sa office. Maghahalo ang balat sa tinalupan!
10. Nagpaalam sayo ang iyong honey. Lalabas daw sila ng mga kaibigan, "for the boys" lang. ("for the girls" kung boy ka.) Pumayag ka naman, pero gusto mong malaman kung ano ang talagang ginagawa at sino ang mga kasama niya. Ano ang gagawin mo?
a. May tiwala akong hindi sya magsisinungaling sa akin. I'll take his/her word for it.
b. So what kung may kasama syang iba maliban sa barkada? Siguro katuwaan lang. Alam ko namang sa akin pa rin ang uwi nya.
c. Kailangan kada 30 minutes nya akong tatawagan para masiguro kong wala syang kalandian.
d. Papakunan ko ng litrato ang lahat ng taong kasama nya, pati ang mga lugar na pupuntahan nila. Tapos kailangan padala nya agad sa kin yung pictures thru MMS. Pag nakita ko na wala sya dun sa lugar na sinabi nyang pupuntahan nila, o kung may nakita akong ibang tao sa pictures aside sa barkada nya, UWI!
11. Nakilala mo ang ex ng bf mo, at ipinakita nya sayo ang singsing na binigay nito sa kanya dati. Ano ang magiging reaksyon mo?
a. Wow, ang nice naman!
b. Wow, ang nice naman! (may halong kaplastikan)
c. Wow, ang nice naman. Pero mas maganda yung binigay nya sa akin. Hindi ko lang suot ngayon dahil takaw-mata sa snatchers, kasi it's very expensive, you know. (kahit hindi ka naman talaga binigyan ng singsing)
d. Wow, ang nice naman. Pero dahil di mo na sya boyfriend, akin na yan! Ambisyosa! (sabay hablot) Hmp!
12. Nagkukwento sayo ang BF mo tungkol sa mga nakaraan nyang mga relasyon, paano mo haharapin ang sitwasyon?
a. Matutuwa ako dahil ipinagkakatiwala nya sa akin ang kanyang mga nakaraan.
b. Makikinig ako, pero if he goes on and on, I'll try to change the topic the first chance I get. Hindi na naman yun relevant sa amin.
c. "Honey, wag na natin silang pag-usapan. Kalimutan mo na sila. Ang mahalaga tayo ang magkasama, forever and ever."
d. "Ano ba? Di mo ba ko tatantanan sa mga kwentong yan? Pag di mo ko tinigilan, iuuntog ko ang ulo mo sa pader ng ilang ulit hanggang makalimutan mo pati pangalan mo!" hahahaha!!!!
13. Nakasakay kayo ng BF mo sa kotse na kanyang minamaneho (sosyal!), pero napansin mong kanina pa siya walang imik. Ano ang iisipin mo?
a. Baka masakit ang ulo. Hilutin ko na lang pag-uwi.
b. Baka iniisip nya na kung paano sya magpopropose. Ang sweeeeet!
c. Oh no! Baka nawawalan na sya ng gana sa akin! Kailangan makagawa ako ng paraan para mahumaling ulit sya sa alindog ko!
d. Siguro iniisip nya na naman yung babae nya. Siguro iniisip nya na naman kung paano nya ko matatakasan. Siguro... siguro... sabay tili ng, "Manloloko!" paranoid? :p
e. None of the above.
14. Have you ever secretly snooped through your bf/gf's cellphone messages?
a. Never. What for?
b. A few times lang, kapag may malakas na hinala lang ako and I feel na justified yung pag-snoop ko.
c. Many times. Patago. At pag may nabasa akong kahina-hinala, kukuha ako ng kleenex at magpupunas ng patulong luha sa kaliwang mata at sasabihin sa kanya, "Di ko na kaya. Kung sino-sino na naman ang textmates mo."
d. Many times. Minsan lantaran. At pag may nabasa akong kahina-hinala... humanda ka at dudurugin kita! as if!? hehehe!!!
15. Nakita mo ang boyfriend mo na may kausap na babae sa labas ng kanyang school/office, at halatang nagpapa-cute yung girl sa syota mo! Ano ang linyang tatakbo sa isip mo?
a.
b.
c.
d. Ala Fernando Poe: "Isang bala ka lang." BANG!!! UGHh! ;p
16. Bago kayo ikasal ng fiancee mo, binigyan sya ng bachelor/bachelorette's party ng mga kaibigan nya. Nadiskubre mo na may stripper at whipped cream na kasali sa paghahanda. Ano ang gagawin mo?
a. It's no big deal. Sobrang faithful yata nya, I'm sure he/she will only look but not touch.
b. I'll give him/her a friendly warning. It's ok to have some fun sa party, but not too much fun. I'm sure alam na nya ang ibig kong sabihin. (baka kung ano na yan :|)
c. Sasama ako sa party. Ako na lang ang stripper. Parang exciting ang whipped cream all over me habang gumigiling-giling. Hihihi!
d. Magpapa-throw din ako ng sarili kong party. The difference is isang dosenang strippers ang invited, with whipped cream, peanut butter, mayonnaise, at kesong puti. Ano ko papatalo?! hahahahaha!!!!! what a loser!!! ;p
e. none of the above. Letter a is like so TANGA and letter D is like so INSECURE. Takte namang mga sagot to! And the rest... Duh?
17. Hinintay mo ang asawa mo magdamag galing sa trabaho. Madaling araw na ito ng umuwi. Ano ang gagawin mo?
a. Ipaghahanda ko sya ng makakain.
b. Ipaghahanda ko sya ng pampaligo matapos ko syang amoy-amuyin for evidence. bleh! :p
c. Ipaghahanda ko sya ng explanation letter kung bakit sya late umuwi.
d. Ipaghahanda ko na sya ng maleta para magbalot-balot na sya ng mga gamit nya.
e. none of the above. Letter a is like so TANGA and letter C is like so INSECURE. Takte namang mga sagot to!
18. Nagpaalam sayo ang asawa mo na may bibilhin lang sa 7-11 sa may kanto. Naligo ito, nagbihis, nagpagwapo at nagpabango. Ano ang iisipin mo?
a. Ang swerte ko naman. Very hygienic ang mister ko.
b. Hhhmmm... teka... amoy fishda (fishy) ang scenario... "teka honey, may bibilin din pala ko, sama ko..." (kala nya ha!)
c. Hhhmmm... masundan nga... at pag nahuli ko na may kalandian lang pala sya sa labas, ihanda na ng FAMAS ang best actress award para sa mga dramatic confrontation scenes na magaganap!
d. "Sinong inuuto mo? Walang bili-bili. Itatali kita sa kama. Bawal lumabas ng bahay!"
e. Putek! None of the above!
19. In general, when it comes to boyfriends/girlfriends and cheating, your thinking is:
a. If your partner really loves you, he or she will be forever faithful. *because love is not just a feeling but a commitment! <3 (bullshit na sagot ito, yuck!)
b. Sure, everyone has fantasies, at lahat naman inaatake ng kakatihan paminsan-minsan. Pero at most, dapat hanggang harmless flirting lang.
c. Chances are, your partner will stray if he/she has a guarantee of never getting caught. Kaya dapat mala-Jaworski ako sa pagbabantay.
d. Chances are, your partner will stray if he/she has a guarantee of never getting caught. Kaya dapat, sindakin ko agad ang partner ko, para simula pa lang matakot na syang gumawa ng kalokohan. Or else.
20. Nasa bar kayo ng ka-date mo, ng may biglang lumapit sa kanya at magtanong ng kanyang phone number. Ano ang gagawin mo?
a. I'm impressed. Very desirable pala ang kasama ko.
b.I'll just stand back at hahayaan ko syang i-handle ang sitwasyon.
c. Ngingiti at sasabihing, "Hi, I'm his/her date. Can I help you?"
500 Days of Summer's Best Quote
A traumatized person imbibes stuff like this.
I would NEVER, ever, fall for someone else again, EVER!!!
SAMPALIN niyo ako pag hindi ko ULIT tinupad yan.