Sunday, December 12, 2010

World War Dream, Walking Distance Mode

I dreamt of me and Poli with other people, who turned out to be guerilla fighters of some sort, being stuck in a war-torn place. We were faced with the problem of having to avert enemy forces from the south. There was a mention of having to retreat to South America. But images of the Amazon jungle, vis-a-vis destruction slipped in, so the idea was scrapped. Poli and I then walked northwards till we reached North pole. 

North pole was kinda cool. It was like walking on a beach where the water was ankle-high and frosted, but not cold. No temperature. Just a scenery of walking on semi-sand-ice-snow submerged on a foot of water. When we thought we've reached the center of the North pole, a spot wherein we can put up a flag that says "North Pole", we saw a crack through the ice with water spilling over. Then he said, "siguro ito yung cause ng Global Warming."

I felt so scared and afraid, while he was in a nonchalant mode, "okay lang yan!" like the usual. Ack! A little while later, we saw headlights coming from a distance. It's North pole goddamnit. "They're too far," Poli said. I pulled him back south, leaving us in the middle of desert military jeeps coming from the north and some civilian infantry coming from the south. The towns in the middle are all empty. 

We went into a detachment-like house and gathered all ammo, guns, and necessary weapons available, slinging like five armalite guns on my shoulder. This time, our group suddenly increased. I told everyone that there are enemy from the north. While slinging like five long guns on my shoulder, I held on to one of them, on guard with the trigger, pointing towards the street, while I am standing at the entrance of the station. 

I stayed in that position for a long while, until one of our comrades took hold of my shoulder and told me that I would endanger our companions with my paranoia. The jeepneys from the north were actually allies. It was not clear whether they are reinforcements, or friends or refugees. They are just... companions.

So I put down my weapon, but still had it beside me. My grandmother was there, tinkering with the gun, I was thinking of how come she's able to hold it while I was given restraint. So we settled on an encampment. While struggling for where to find fuel for cooking, and my best friend challenging me to cook by heating water in the pitcher.

That's about that. And when the feeling of danger subsided, I felt some boredom and frustration of not engaging in any form of combat. It was fun to note that all those countries were reachable by foot. All was just a dream. But the feelings of fear and danger were all real. 

Saturday, November 6, 2010

“For my entire life I longed for love. I knew it was not right for me — as a girl and later as a woman — to want or expect it, but I did, and this unjustified desire has been at the root of every problem I have experienced in my life.” — Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, Lisa See

I have gone awol

I don't know why, or I am probably just brushing off the reason why. Naglapse na ang leave from the office. Pero pinalipas ko ang apat na araw na di pumapasok, dahil ayoko pumasok. Hindi lang ako makapagfunction ng matino.

Hindi ko rin ginamit ng matino yung apat na araw para manlang sana matapos ang paper ko sa CL.

Wala na kong ibang gagawin.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Old House Dream Sequence

This dream is weird. I dreamed about the same subject not a few months ago, but in a different context. Before I forget the whole of it, I am writing it down.

The subject was our old house in ParaƱaque. The house was spacious enough to hold rehearsals for two different plays simultaneously, and clean enough to go barefoot in it. We rented that house for 15 years, and had to move out for financial reasons. Hence, our permanent residence is now in Laguna. As a child, I faced much difficulty in parting with the house, and the world that came with it - having to ride a school bus, my busmates, neighborhood friends, the short distance to school, the routine, the dogs, the playground, the peace, -- everything.

Last night, I dreamed about that house. We were having some sort of a rehearsal for a play. It was full of familiar faces. The venue was our old house. 

The appearance of the house changed drastically. Its mini garden was no longer a garden. It was cleared out and replaced with resin-coated flooring, extending up to the garage. The inside sported a dance studio flooring (reminds me of the SSC Performing Arts Room), from the old marble tiles that it had. The divisions were a lot more different... It made the house look bigger, and cleaner? I did not remember seeing the 2nd floor though.

So it's as if we still live there, while confronted with the same need to leave the house. This time, I was trying to think of the things that I can already do. Like, work and sustain the rent (The most unthinkable call center idea came into my head). I was squeezing out renting info from my mom, asking her about how much is the rent etc. 

I remembered that I was thinking of several things before that other sequence that is still within that dream and with the same context - I was crying. That unstoppable outpouring. Several people came to look at me, watch me cry. They just watched. Some asked me why. I remember that there were 5 or 4 people around me, randomly positioned as if in a normal daily school setting - sitting or leaning on the railings. And I was there crying... Wearing a pink tank top and crying.

And I forgot the rest of it.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Dream Sequence

I had two sci-fi dreams the past week.

I forgot the first one but I was able to recount it to Poli before I forgot it. I wish he can still remember my story.

The second one was all about a big alien machine that uses centrifugal force to combine all stellar atoms. The image was so vast yet the end product was a triangular shaped pillow, that feels like a stress ball. I was tasked to protect it, and guard it as an artifact.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Miss World University candidate, Angelique Agustin, Hails from PUP

Repost from Dekki.

There is a need for social change and we are starting it inside the four walls of the campus…            

-Mula sa Bb. Unibersidad-

Ganito. May balita ako, isang good news isang bad news. Ano ang gusto mong unahin ko, yung good o yung bad? Okay, sige. Ako na ang magde-decide kung alin ang una (wala ka namang magagawa).

Yung good muna.

Sa susunod na buwan (o sa december yata), magkakaroon ng World Miss University sa Seoul, South Korea. Isa itong pageant, isang international beauty contest na lalahukan ng maraming kolehiyala mula sa iba’t ibang unibersidad sa iba’t ibang bansa. Hindi siya yung simpleng beauty pageant. Parang yung sinasabi ng Bb. Unibersidad dito sa atin. Ang sabi nila: The pageant is not just a celebration of beauty and intellect, but it also aims to spread the message of love and peace by appointing a public service delegation of outstanding female university students from all around the country…

Ang magandang balita: sa PUP manggagaling ang magiging representative ng ating bansa sa nasabing competition. Palakpakan! First Time yata ng PUP yun (kung di ako mali). He he. Tayo muna. Sa atin manggagaling ang contestant na magiging representative ng bansa.

Si Angelique Agustin yun ng MassComm. 4th year student ng Communication Research. Member siya ng Central Student Council sa ilalim ng SAMASA Party. Isa siya sa mga councilor natin. Dinig ko, kasalukuyang member din siya ng LFS at ipinagmamalaki niya na siya ay isang aktibista sabi ng ilang kaibigan. Nakakatuwa naman. Marami pang ibang bagay ang tungkol sa kanya na di ko alam kaya yun lang muna ang masasabi ko (Google her name). Yun ang good news.     

Ang bad news?  Hindi natin alam kung hanggang saan ang kayang itulong ng eskwela natin sa kanya dahil (alam niyo na) walang pera ang PUP. May budget cut pa nga di ba? Bugoy talaga ‘tong si Noynoy Abnoy. Kailangan ni Angel ng malaki laking halaga nang pang-pinansya para sa mga bagay na kakailanganin niya at ng kanyang kasama mula sa tiket sa eroplano hanggang sa kung anu-ano pang bagay na kailangan sa panahon ng pageant.

Isip tayo ng paraan paano tayo makakatulong. Sana matuloy siya sa pageant.  Mabigyan niya sana ng boses dun yung mga studyante at kabataan dito na nananawagan para sa mataas na budget sa edukasyon. Alam ni Angel yun, LFS siya eh.

Oh! Ito siya, tignan mo.      

Friday, September 24, 2010

Quick facts about the North Triangle project and demolition of Sept. 23

Ayala Land signed an agreement with the National Housing Authority to develop, at a cost of P22 billion,  29 hectares of the 256-hectare of the North Triangle area that is to be developed as the QC Central Business District, presumably to be pattermed after Ayala Business District in Makati..

 

But there are 6,000 families in the area. The residents have already held 4 dialogues with the NHA since they received the 30-day notice of demolition on May 2010 where they offered suggestions to the authorities. However NHA officials insist that they should resettle in Montalban, Rizal, which is more than 20 kilometers north..

 

The NHA offered the residents P1,000, 5 kilos of rice, 2 packs of instant noodles and 2 canned sardines if they would agree to be relocated to Montalban..

 

They are also being offered a 20-square meter house at the relocation site, worth supposedly P250,000 which are not free. On the second year, those who would be relocated would have to pay P200 monthly and P600 monthly from fifth year onwards.

 

The biggest problem of the 6,000 families is that they earn their livelihood near the area , and Montalban is more than 20 kilometers away. Aside from that, they complain that the facilities like water and power are not yet in place, and the area is prone to flooding.

 

Residents said they are not fighting to own the land but to get what is due and fair to them, which includes an on-site or in-city relocation.

 

Judge Maria Padilla of RTC 225 ordered a stop to the demolition mid afternoon yesterday, and today Aquino III stopped the demolition for the moment.

 

For more facts and figures, go this page:

 

http://www.arkibongbayan.org/2010/2010-09Sept24-NTriangle/demolition.htm

 

From Mon Ramirez

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Information for Foreigners: A grim play on reality by CARMELA G. LAPEƑA, GMANews.TV

I was never fond of rides. As a little girl, the only reason I got on roller coasters was to prove I could keep up with my cousin - who is male and three years older than I am. Still, I could never bring myself to enter a horror booth, or anything similar. I had a tendency to frighten myself with an overactive imagination, and just the opening sequence of "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" could keep me tossing and turning for about a week.


Lining up for the playInformation for Foreigners felt like I was about to enter a horror booth. The tour guides each had their own noise-making device. Mine had a xylophone. He strikes it randomly while another guide plays tunelessly on a harmonica. They were all loud, their gestures extravagant. The resulting cacophony was making me dizzy, and the play hadn't even begun. This was not the kind of play you go to for entertainment. Unless, of course, emotional exhaustion, physical activity and mental exercise is your idea of a good time. 

At quarter to seven, we (the "foreigners") were instructed to form single lines following the guides of their choice. The guides looked like they went crazy in a room full of costumes, donning clothes and headresses randomly. The result is six whimsical tour guides, none of them looking like the sort you'd want to entrust with two hours of your life. They handed out flashlights, confirming my suspicion that I was about to experience something I usually avoided - something scary, something dark.

The invitation to Information for Foreigners comes with a few reminders.

1. Please wear comfortable clothes.
2. For mature strangers only.
3. Standing room only.
4. If you're bringing a friend, hold on to them - TIGHT. We don't want anybody missing!

I found the last one particularly ominous, and as it turned out, necessary. The foreigners are lead down dark corridors through several rooms, each one containing a tableaux. Since the six groups experience the play simultaneously, foreigners will emerge with unique memories of the play's sequence. At certain points, all the groups are brought to the atrium for bigger scenes. 

Originally hidden in Argentinian playwright Griselda Gambaro's house, the play introduces the country's landscape to foreigners by placing them in dramatized news items. Political kidnappings, torture, disappearances and killings - the sordid stuff of our own local dailies.

Anton Juan's adaptation is grand and grotesque, had there been a curtain it would have to be velvet, the color of wine, or of thick, fresh blood. It's a carnival as wild and surreal as the infamous perya, only instead of cheap thrills, what you get is a priceless tour of the horrors of Philippine society. The actors are a mix of professionals and workshop participants, and some performances are better than others. Still, the overall effect is powerful. 

At some point it begins to feel like a dream, being led from room to room where more and more gut-wrenching scenes await. Up and down and up again, the play is dizzying but not delicious. Disgusting comes to mind, because one realizes that contrary to the guide's mocking reassurance that "it's just a play," it isn't. This is reality.

No amount of makeup or elaborate sets and fantastic props can conceal the awkward truth. Information for Foreigners is grotesque and disturbing, despite the ironic treatment, the manner of presentation where foreigners are toured as if in a museum, detached and unconcerned. The play begins in the atrium, where the foreigners are spectators to the Milgram Experiment, which reveals how people will harm others in obedience to authority. 

Participants take on the roles of "student" and "teacher." There is a drill on word association. Each mistake means electric shock treatment for the student. The "teacher" believes that the treatment is real, but there is no actual shock. The voltage is increased until the student is finally "killed." Conducted in 1961 on Yale students, 26 of 40 participants administered the final 450-volt shock. 

"Sixty five percent of you are capable of killing fellow human beings if ordered by authority," the guide explained.

On this pleasant note, the tour begins. After two hours of being herded through the nightmarish maze, the foreigners all assemble in the atrium for the final scene. Jonas Burgos' mother searches frantically for her son, tirelessly presenting her case, but the heartless mechanical office mocks her, stammering through the court decision, typewriter dings punctuating the sentences. Abducted in broad daylight over three years ago, Jonas Burgos remains missing while the case plods along at an excruciatingly slow pace, without significant progress. 

With the Supreme Court's resolution on May 23, 2010 ordering a comprehensive probe by the Commission on Human Rights, the case is back to square one. Burgos is only one of 206 desaparecidos - the disappeared, and it is their faces that the foreigners gaze upon before they are told "the show is over, go back to your country." - GMANews.TV

Information for Foreigners runs at the CAL New Building in U.P. Diliman from September 21 - 26. Foreigners meet promptly at 6:30 PM. For reservations, please contact Karen at 0917 554 18 54.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

In the world of advertising, learning is a many scattered thing. Currently reading about the history of Manila, and never thought that these facts ever existed: http://en.wikipilipinas.org/index.php?title=Metro_Manila

Physical, Mental, and Emotional Exhaustion

Aside from having my heart broken every weekend, I have been trying to live in different dimensions since the month started, and until now, I haven't found the sense of having to breathe. Unknowingly, I have been able to suppress and constrict all my feelings and knowledge of what I have been going through between me, myself and him.

I am so tired. I can only describe things in as much as metaphors can allow, because I have lost the capacity to say them all straight out, objectively, and I lost my trust for everything.

Because everything, in just one snap, can vanish.

What you thought that matters much, can just be treated with so much indifference.

It just keeps on happening. They keep coming.

And I'm just tired.

I don't want to go through another of that pain again. Ever.

All I see in the future is a life without...

Sunday, August 8, 2010

‎"I am the solitude that asks and promises nothing; That is how I shall set you free. There is no love; There are only the various envies, all of them sad." - from W. H. Auden's "In Praise of Limestone" (quoted by Sir Nico)

But Really

This day is very happy. I enjoyed the long hours of walking without any worries at all. With a sense of contentment and enthusiasm. VTR in Makati, then bonding with Poli at SM and i really had fun!

We really have to understand the real meaning of life before we take it at its face value. Things are deeper than how they really are. If you understand life, you will learn that:

1. Jealousy is natural and at the same time pointless.
2. Nothing owns us, we own nothing.
3. Obsession is not reality. You only magnify things that are not really important.
4. One thing might be important above others, but there is no such thing as the only important thing.
5. Don't take your words today. They will all be different tomorrow.
6. Worries are worries and will only stop being worries if we want.
7. We can always run away.
8. There are formulas on how to live life. But don't expect the results are all the same.
9. Life is not that wonderful. It is something you have to survive in.
10. Dapat gumagawa ako ng paper instead ng pagblog.

Himlay at Random

Stop and go.
With winding paths and long roads.
Metro Manila traffic.

Eyewater. Cheekdampens.
Heartpoundeth.

Papertear.

I want a future with you. That's all I want right now.

Rapid eraser. Memory reformat.restart.reboot.
Engineered pathways. Planned intersections.

Crowded. Alone.
Wakeless sleep.

Lay. On your lap with your hand on my shoulder.
Freeze.

Until we wake up at the right moment.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Invitation to the "Sining Tulay" 4th Leg

We are doing it again.

“Sining Tulay” started as art exhibits of conceptual and physical interpretations of “bridges” as connectors; aside from being done on bridges. Still remaining true to our goal to promote art for social change, UgnaYAN Youth Artist Network now welcomes the new administration with a picture of the real state of the nation.

In the face of a society faced with cultural disintegration, poverty and lack of equal opportunity among all people, there is a call for artists to express themselves in response, and to take action through prolific transformative art. Thus, we are calling on all artists to reveal the “real state of the nation” on our next Sining Tulay.

On July 14, 2010, 3pm, at the Emerald Julio Blvd footbridge in Ortigas, a few days before the new administration’s first State of the Nation Address, the “Real State of the Nation” public exhibit will be held as part of the project Sining Tulay. 

We are calling on all artists to create movable artworks and flash performances that would speak for the Real State of the Nation. Meeting place for participants will be an hour before the event at a Jollibee nearby. It will be followed by a quick installment of the participating artworks at the footbridge. Everyone is then advised to bring implements that will enable you to hang or display your artworks such as wires or easels. Writers who would bring poems or any form of fiction should make them displayable with visual artworks or you may want to reproduce them for mass distribution.

There will be a repeat display of the exhibit on the day of the State of the Nation Address.

***"Sining Tulay" is brought to you by Ugnayan Youth Artist Network, a network of artists whose aim is to promote and proliferate different works of art for social change. Also brought to you by Kabataang Artista para sa Tunay na Kalayaan (KARATULA), Sine Patriotiko (SIPAT), ALAYSINING-UP, Kamanyang-PUP, College Editors Guild of the Philippines (CEGP), Ugnayan ng Nagkakaisang Artista (UNA-UP)For further inquiries, please contact: 09264774123 / youth.artist.network@gmail.com

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Lame Questions

ABC About You

A - AVAILABLE: No. :>

B - BIRTHDAY: 6 Sept 2059

C- CRUSH: Brera Sterne.

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Iced Tea

E - EASIEST PERSON(s) TO TALK TO: Ate

F - FAVORITE SONG: Seikan Hikou

G - GRADUATE Or Not GRADUATE : Yes. Now in graduate school. :>

H - HOMETOWN: Paranaque. Tubeeeeg!

I - IN LOVE WITH: Carlo Pulido. <3

J - JUGGLE: Two items only. :))

K - KILLED SOMEONE: No. :))

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Manila to Camarines Sur. :D

M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR Strawberry Banana

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 2. Kuyas.

O - ONE WISH: Happy life!

P- PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: Lorrie.

R - REASON TO SMILE: Senpai. :">

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Spice and Wolf ED

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 11am.

U - UNDERWEAR COLOR/PATTERN: Green down, yellow up. :P

V - VEGETABLE(S): Okra

W - WORST HABIT: Dandruff scratching.

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: 3. (One was skull xray after a car accident)

Y – YOYOS ARE: Diet in diet out.

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Virgo. Taurus ascendant



Random Questions About You:

Spell your name without vowels: DN MND DRCT

What color do you wear most?: White grey green blue.

Least favorite color?: Orange.

Are you happy with your life right now?: No.

What is your favorite class in school?: Lit, Physics <3

Where do you wish you were right now?: Airconditioned room, edge of a cliff


THE CANs:

Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: Yes

Can you whistle?: No.

Write with both hands? Write with one, doodle with the other

Walk with your toes curled? No



THE DOs:

Do you believe there is life on other planets? Yes. That's why I love watching Anime space operas

Do you believe in miracles? NO

Do you believe in magic? Yes!

Love at first sight? No.

Do you believe in Satan? Hell yeah.

Do you believe in Santa? I wanted to. But I always knew he was impossible.

Do you know how to swim? If I wont breath.

Do you like roller coasters? The lamest type only

Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows? I hate reality shows



THE WHATs:
What is the temperature outside? 40degrees plus celsius

What radio station do you listen to? I dont listen to the radio.

What was the last restaurant you ate at? Don Pepe's carinderia

What was the last thing you bought? Girl thing

What was the last thing on TV you watched? Macross 7

THE WHOs:
Who was the last person you took a picture of? Some geek at the office :))

Who was the last person you said I love you to: Senpai

Who was the last person you shouted at and kicked?: Back in grade school



CRYING SECTION:
Ever really cried your heart out? All the time

Ever cried yourself to sleep? All the time

Ever cried on your friend's shoulder? All the time.

Ever cried over the opposite sex? Tsss.. Sometimes.

Do you cry when you get an injury? No.

Do certain songs make you cry? Yes. Yousei


HAPPY SECTION.
Are you a happy person? No.

What can make you happy? Senpai, anime, money, parents, kuya, FRIENDS.

Do you wish you were happier? Yes :D

Can music make you happy? Yes of course


LOVE SECTION.
How many times have you had your heart broken? Need I count.

Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them? yes.


LOOK AT ME.
What is your current hair color? Brown.

Have any tattoos? None.

Eye color? Dark brown.

IN A BOY/GIRL, what is your:

Favorite eye color: Anything. Red?

Short or long hair: What fits.

Height: Taller than I am.





HAVE YOU EVER :

Been to jail : No. PP1017 days muntik na

Laughed so hard you cried: No

Cried in school: yes :|

Thrown up in a store: No :))

Done something really stupid that you still laugh at today?: yes :D

THIS or THAT

Pepsi or Coke? Coke

McDonald's or Burger King? Either.

Single or Group Dates? Either. or date with myself

Chocolate or Vanilla? Both

Strawberries or Blueberries: Blueberries.

Meat or Veggies? Fish.

TV or Movie : Movie

Guitar or Drums? Both.

Adidas or Nike? Nike.

Cheerios or Corn Flakes? Corn flakes.

Chinese or Mexican? Mexican.

Cake or Pie? CAKE

Saturday, May 22, 2010

I love(?) CAL

Magic. Got past the minimum number of pages for Eng 235. Some little editing to do pa. After a long period of sabaw-ness, demotivation, staring at blank pages, and numerous depressing moments, I AM SUBMITTING MILTON THIS WEEK, and finally saying goodbye to him for the moment. One down. **sighs. .) (Grade? [fingers crossed.])

I just finalized my attack as meta-criticism awhile ago, and figured out how to fuse it to textual analysis just A WHILE AGO. I do not want to read the entire text anymore. No more nose-bleed inducing middle period English for me please.

Now I have with me 12 pages of crap. God forbid I fail Eng 235 of all subjects. Really now... fingers crossed.



Afterwards, I have 50 pages waiting to be produced. This is the law of haggard.

I wish I had the brain of Tesla and resolve everything with a unified field theory.

Residence

The hall was dark. 
Several voices come to me. Mocking me as if I could hear.
There was wind coming through the window. 
I felt the cold through the edge of my skirt.
There were walls to which I can lean a little, and I did.
I meandered through the empty space, as I put and lift my hand
One after the other flat on the wall.

I felt the floor. It was hard. Bricks.
Slate, uneven, they were probably chafing
Before it was coated with resin.
Flaws, unshapely deformities,
Forgotten, like how rocks usually are.

There was a time that I believed in God.
I believed in Him before I realized that the hall was dark.
And it was dark not because of the absence of light.
It is my dwelling place.
I rented it out nevertheless.

I know where the door is.
The shape of the carvings on wood.
the creaking sound if turned,
the sudden influx of light when opened.
I looked at the direction to it.
I gave it the most intent glare that I can muster.
Stare. Through the blank space called darkness.

I lovingly put down the blanket on the floor,
lovingly feeling the roughness of the resin coated bricks.
contentedly leaning my head on the wall;
Humming slow songs, screaming with upbeat songs;
Chanting the long forgotten history.
Closing my eyes, and finally turning my back to the door.

This hallway is my house.

Limited Perception

I formed papers the shape of mountains:
My vision of mountains, relatively.
For all i know, a mountain is not a plane.
I knew little about them, and seen only some of them.

My footsteps were muffled as I walked through the pile of leaves.
They were all fresh, the remains was so fresh.
My head was turned.
I only saw a quarter of it.

I could not make out of its color, or its texture.
There was only water, splashing, pouring.
Sprinkling through the rocks, reverberating.
And branches breaking of from trunks of trees.

I heard; perceived a little.
Such limited perception of things bothers me.
A sage would probably tell me though:
A fuller view would probably be bliss or the edge of a cliff.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Las Ruinas del Corazon, Eric Gamalinda

Juana the Mad married the handsomest man in Spain 
and that was the end of it, because when you marry a man 

more beautiful than you, they say you pretty much lost control 
of the situation. Did she ever listen? No. When he was away 

annexing more kingdoms, she had horrible dreams 
of him being cut and blown away, or spread on the rack, 

or sleeping with exotic women. She prayed to the twin guardians 
of the Alhambra, Saint Ursula and Saint Susana, to send him home

and make him stay forever. And they answered her prayers, 
and killed Philip the Handsome at twenty-eight. 

Juana the Mad was beside herself with grief, and she wrapped 
his body in oils and lavender, and laid him out in a casket of lead, 

and built a marble effigy of the young monarch in sleep, 
and beside it her own dead figure, so he would never think 

he was alone. And she kept his body beside her, and every day 
for the next twenty years, while pungent potions filled the rooms, 

she peeked into his coffin like a chef peeks into his pot, 
and memories of his young body woke her adamant desire. 

She wanted to possess him entirely, and since not even death 
may oppose the queen, she found a way to merge death and life 

by eating a piece of him, slowly, lovingly, until he was entirely 
in her being. She cut a finger and chewed the fragrant skin, 

then sliced thick portions of his once ruddy cheeks. Then she ate
an ear, the side of a thigh, the solid muscles of the chest, 

then lunged for an eye, a kidney, part of the large intestine. 
Then she diced his penis and his pebble-like testicles 

and washed everything down with sweet jerez. 
Then she decided she was ready to die. 

But before she did, she asked the poets to record these moments
in song, and the architects to carve the song in marble, 

and the marble to be extracted from the most secret veins 
of the earth and placed where no man could see it, 

because that is the nature of love, because one walks alone
through the ruins of the heart, because the young must sleep

with their eyes open, because the angels tremble
from so much beauty, because memory moves in orbits

of absence, because she holds her hands out in the rain, 
and rain remembers nothing, not even how it became itself.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Youth Artists Cry Political Repression over X-Rating of ‘amBisyon’ Films



Insulting and Tyrannical.

This is how Kabataang Artista Para sa Tunay na Kalayaan (KARATULA), an organization of youth artists throughout the country, sees the X and R-18 given by the Movie and Television Review and Classification Board (MTRCB) to two short films, namely Ganito Tayo Ngayon, Paano Na Tayo Bukas? by Jeffrey Jeturian and Ayos Ka by Brillante Mendoza created for ABS-CBN’s short film project AmBisyon.

“We are offended by MTRCB for saying that the message of Ayos Ka could not be understood by younger audiences, even if they changed its rating from X to R-18,” said Ana Tarina Lulu, KARATULA national chairperson. “Everyone, regardless of age, suffers from the dire economic and political conditions aggravated by the Arroyo regime, as shown by the two films.”

Ayos Ka, the short film made by the award-winning director Brillante Mendoza, is a music video of a rap about an ideal and positive Philippines while showing contradictory images of poverty. Meanwhile, Ganito Tayo Ngayon, Paano Na Tayo Bukas? by Jeffrey Jeturian shows how a page of a newspaper, trumpeting the administration’s alleged economic successes, is used to wipe feces from the foot of a cart vendor. 

“Arroyo is no different from Marcos who censored and banned films that portrayed the social realities of its time. Throughout her nine-year regime, up until its last few months, she and her lackeys have shown that they will stop at nothing to curb legitimate political criticism against their government and crush people’s dissent. We condemn her blatant disregard for press freedom, freedom of expression and other human rights,” Lulu said.

She added that this case proves the systemic repression of the government marked by other cases such as the X rating granted to critical films like Mendiola of Sine Patriyotiko and Rights spearheaded by Southern Tagalog Exposure, defacement of Neo-Angono’s mural for the National Press Club and recently the censorship of Joel Lamangan’s Dukot. 

“Rather than fear, we call upon all artists and organizations to unite and to be brave in facing suppression. We must struggle not only for freedom of expression but genuine freedom from oppression and poverty perpetuated by the regime and the system.”###

Monday, March 29, 2010

Leave or Live with it

Break everything.

Send myself loose.

That would be the only way to grow.

The only thing that I have to consider, is how? Is it possible without feeling any pain? Or any bitterness?

I have several options.

Disappear. No word, no goodbyes. Just plain disappear. Cutting all connections.
Confront. Squeeze a final answer. Cry, then move on.
Stay. Hope for the best.

Which is the least excruciating?

I know this is not getting anywhere. There's no hope.

1. We won't work together. I pressure him too much.
2. There is someone else (and he does not notice it). 
a. He lives for it.
b. They would fit well together.
c. He needs to have that kind of person to help him steer his life.
3. There are a lot of things that I cannot do for you.
4. He does not need me in his life, and he won't benefit from this relationship.
5. I lost myself already, and he is not giving me any assurance that he would stay no matter where I would ind myself.
6. This situation is so vague, and EMOTIONALLY Taxing.

TANGINA.

He always needs space from me, and he does not know how to express commitment.
Yun lang.

Then? Saan ako pupunta? Saan ako sasandal?

Pano na ako? 

I need to prepare for a grand detachment.

Preparation

If I would walk away, do not give me the map to get back.
I knew how it was to go back, and I know that pain, I do not want to feel it again.

If I have to break everything, remind me to include myself, because I would never want to feel anything. Paper cuts are as painful.

I need to find my sense of direction. I cannot get it from a person who depends on another woman to get his own.

If I would turn away, please make sure that I would never remember anything. Make sure that I would not see any shadow, or remnant of the past.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Animatrix

Rating:★★★★★
Category:Movies
Genre: Animation
Based on the movie The Matrix, Animatrix is a movie that I truly loved. It is composed of nine vignette animations, featuring stories from different worlds, wrapped in ambiguity and open-ended-ness, which give away philosophical commentaries on life and human character.

My friend, Wiki, says more, so read more:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Animatrix

RISIRIS: dula, kontradksyon, buhay

Start:     Mar 22, '10 7:00p
End:     Mar 26, '10 10:00p
Location:     Teatro Hermogenes Ylagan, Faculty Center, UP Diliman
Dulaang Laboratoryo under the Department of Speech Communication and Theater Arts, proudly presents Risiris, directed by Ms. Donna Rhyse Dacuno.

Risiris is a production composed of two plays Risiris and The Exception and the Rule. It comes from the Ilocano word for contradiction. Contradictions, some say, move the world. It is one of the few things that tie the two together: an intention to run counter to the usual plays and to offer insights into different ideas and even worlds. And in so doing, the play attempts to move the world.

The Exception and The Rule by Bertolt Brecht is “the story of a journey”. A merchant, a guide and a coolie trek through the wilderness. The merchant searches for black gold, riches beyond imagining, and everlasting glory! The others just want to live through it all and get paid. But in the quest for the ultimate prize in the city of Urga, sacrifices and crimes are made. Finally in a court of law - and more importantly, - in the court of the audiences’ opinion, a decision must be formed to determine what should be the rule and what should be the exception.

In Risiris, an original play, a decision must also be made, about a betrayal. We glimpse a guerilla squad in the midst of a conflict, not just between guns but between dreams. Gerry dreams to be with his love, Melinda, and wishes to leave. But leaving is not a simple matter. Paeng wants him to stay for the dream of a better world that they shared. Sierra also shares that dream and will use any means necessary to bring it about as she is suspicious of Gerry’s motivation for leaving. But some dreams are not meant to be.

Risiris will run from March 23-24 / 7pm and March 25-26 / 3pm and 7pm at Teatro Hermogenes Ylagan (THY), 1st floor of the Faculty Center, UP Diliman.

ADMISSION IS FREE!

Sick men die, but strong men fight! - Merchant, The Exception and The Rule Watch out on March 23 and 24 (7pm) March 25-26 (3pm and 7pm) at Teatro Hermogenes Ylagan Faculty Center UP Diliman

Friday, February 26, 2010

I miss THIS

The world around me is too fast-paced, or rather too full? That i seemed to have forgotten to write the words and thoughts that run inside my head.

I consider it a wastage, complete wastage. I forgot to think, and if I think, I forget to remember them and put them in words. The images are all fleeting that i cannot seem to grab hold of them and dissolve them into something as fluid as ink.

They just all fly away.

Nobody pushes me. I need to be pushed around to think. And nobody pushes me to write. Or I have never felt alone for so long that i do not have the resort to do this.

I miss updating my blog.

Hindi kasi ko Emo as of the moment kaya wala ako maisulat.

I think I need to learn writing positive stuff. or to wrrite from my mind and not from my emotions. I am not a serious writer, I do not consider myself good enough to take this thing seriously. But well...

(ellipses)

Hello acads kumusta ka na? :C

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Gibo, bigo sa kabataang artista

Gibo, bigo sa kabataang artista

                    Paggamit ng ‘Posible’, kinundena


“Bigo si Gibo na makukuha ang boto ng mga kabataang artista.”

Kinundena ng Kabataaang Artista Para Sa Tunay Na Kalayaan (KARATULA),
pambansang organisayon ng mga kabatang artista, ang paggamit ni Gilbert
Teodoro ng kantang “Posible” ng mang-aawit na si Rico Blanco sa kanyang mga
kampanya at patalastas sa telebisyon sa kabila ng pagkwestyon ng musikero
at ng Warner Music Philippines.

“Nagulat ako nang mabalitaan ko na ginamit ang kanta nang walang paalam,
maski ang paggaya ng boses nij Rico Blanco. Pinakita ni Gibo ang kawalan
pakialam niya sa batas ng Intellectual Property at respeto sa mga artista
at sa kanilang sining,” sabi ni Ana Tarina Lulu, Pambansang Tagapangulo ng
KARATULA .

Kinikilalang idolo at music icon si Rico Blanco ng maraming kabataang
Pilipino. Patunay sa mataas na respeto ng mga kabataan sa kanya ang tweet,
isang social networking, ni Blanco tungkol sa mga estudyanteng hayskul na
nagpapaalam pa sa kanya upang gamitin nila ang kanyang mga kanta sa
kanilang proyekto, kahit hindi naman kailangan, ayon sa KARATULA

Dagdag ni Lulu, “Makapangyarihan ang mga kanta at jingles para sa kampanya
ng pagpapanalo sa isang kandidato. Pero kahit gaano pa man kalaganap ang
kanyang mga patalastas na puno ng ‘Galing at Talino’, hindi maitatago ang
kabulukan niya at ng kanyang amo na si Gloria Arroyo.”

Diin ng organisasyon, walang pinagkaiba si Gilbert Teodoro sa kanyang
kapartido na si Arroyo dahil ipagpapatuloy lamang niya ang mga
anti-artista, anti-kabataan, at anti-mamamayan na mga polisiya ng
nakaupong rehimen.

“Madilim ang huling siyam na taon para sa mga kabataang artista dahil sa
mga batas na kumikitil sa karapatan ng malayang pamamahayag tulad ng Right
of Reply Bill, di makatarungang kaso ng sensura sa mga artista na kritikal
sa kalagayan ng bansa, at mabahong rekord nito ng karapatang pantao. Dapat
managot si Gloria, kasama ang kanyang tuta sa depensa na si Gibo, sa
maraming paglabag nito sa karapatang pantao ng mga artista at mamamayan,”
sabi ni Lulu.

Nananawagan ang organisasyon sa mga kabataan na maging kritikal sa pagpili
ng mga kandidato at dapat masusing pag-aralan ang kanilang mga programa
kung tunay itong magsisilbi sa nakakararami. ###
(See attached file: Gibo Press Release.pdf)

Reference: Taren Lulu
National Chairperson, KARATULA

Kabataang artista, binatikos ang MTRCB

Kabataang artista, binatikos ang MTRCB

Suspension ng Showtime, kinuwestyon

Zero!”

Ito ang iskor ng Kabataang Artista Para Sa Tunay Na Kalayaan (KARATULA), pambansang organisasyon ng mga kabataang artista, para sa MTRCB na nagpataw ng 20 araw na suspension ng MTRCB sa Showtime noong Enero 12, dulot ng mga pahayag ni Rosanna Roces sa kabila ng self-regulation ng ABS-CBN na tanggalin si Roces bilang isa sa mga hurado.

Sa suspension ng Showtime, ang tunay na talo ay ang mga kabataang nais lamang ipakita ang kanilang sining at talento,” sabi ni Ana Tarina Lulu, Pambansang Tagapangulo ng KARATULA.

Sa tingin ng organisasyon, hindi maikakaila ang popularidad ng mga palabas sa telebisyon na nagpapamalas ng talento at pagiging malikhain ng mga Pilipino. Bukod sa premyo, nakikita ng mga lumalahok ang palabas bilang isang pagkakataon upang maipamalas ang kanilang talento at kanilang kultura, sa kabila ng kakapusan ng mga programa ng gobyerno upang itaguyod ang pagpapaunlad at pagtanghal sa kanilang sining.

Sa hirap ngayon, nagdudulot ng panandaliang saya ang mga palabas na ito para sa mga manonood na gustong ma-aliw sa kabila ng lugmok na kalagayan na nararanasan ng maraming Pilipino araw-araw,” ani ni Lulu

Para sa organisasyon, bahagi ang suspension ng Showtime sa lumalalang listahan ng mga kwestyunable at nakababahalang kaso ng sensura na ipinapataw ng MTRCB sa ilalim ng rehimen ni Gloria. Banggit ni Lulu, “Madalas na biktima ang mga matatapang at mapangahas na mga artistang nagsisiwalat ng kalagayan ng lipunan at kritikal sa gubyerno.”

Ilan sa mga nasabing kaso ang pagpataw ng X rating ng MTRCB sa “Rights”, lipon ng mga pelikulang kritikal sa kalagayan ng karapatang pantao sa bansa mula sa iba’t ibang film makers, “Mendiola” ng Sine Patriyotiko at sensura sa pelikulang “Kinatay” ni Brillante Mendoza, na siyang umani ng papuri mula ibang bansa. Sa pelikula ni Joel Lamangan na “Dukot”, pinabura ang mukha ni Gloria sa iilang eksenang nag-uugnay sa kanya sa ekstra-hudisyal na pamamaslang. Dagdag ni Lulu, “pinapakita nito na ginagamit ang ahensya para sa pulitikal na represyon.”

Nananawagan ang KARATULA, kasama ng iba pang pangkulturang organisasyon at samahan ng mga artista, na muling suriin at pag-aralan ang tungkulin at Implementing Rules and Regulations ng MTRCB. Patuloy ang pangangampanya ng organisasyon sa pagtataguyod ng makabayan, siyentipiko, at makamasang sining at kulturang nagsisilbi sa interes at kapakanan ng aping mamamayang Pilipino. ###